Alan C. Baird
Enjoy a few jokes,
gleaned and polished from many sources: Screenwriter,
Agent, Theater, and
Novelist/Other. Also, here
are four synopses of my latest specs (producers/investors -
contact me if you'd like to read one, or to request
my agent's number):
The Fall In Budapest [co-writer
Anikó J. Bartos; 91-page screenplay; 1998
SCRNWRiT First
Draft competition finalist (one of five); 1997 Writers Network
quarterfinalist] Vitaly, a former KGB operative, takes a nasty tumble in
Budapest's late autumn, and he's aided in his struggle back to health
by the Hungarian nurse Erzsébet. The course of their
blossoming romance is marred by ugly memories of the past,
involving their own personal experiences, as well as the violent
intersection in the chronicles of their two countries. Jared, an American
undercover agent, is convinced that Vitaly's sinister "business"
partners plan to wreak havoc on a cataclysmic scale, and he's
willing to risk everything, including his own relationship with Colette,
to stop the Russian. This action-packed romantic thriller is also an
unforgettable meditation on the contemporary issue of forgiveness:
cultural and historical, among individuals as well as nation-states.
[444-word
short-story adaptation of one scene]
[book
excerpt]
[Wired
magazine article w/quote]
[interview
in Budapest's Internet Kalauz magazine
(English
translation)]
Merlinsky
[92-page screenplay; 1997 Writers Network quarterfinalist]:
The endless hordes of Hollywood tourists in the late 1940's are easy
marks for a con-man magician like Harry Merlinsky. He knows how
to sucker the rubes and flash the ol' hamster-outta-the-fedora every
now and then, to baffle 'em and dazzle 'em. But he didn't expect a
naive fan like Jake, who wants to learn Harry's Old Knowledge -
"real" magic. Harry's arch-enemy obliterates Jake's girlfriend, forcing
Jake to become a wizard, just to stay alive. Will Jake use his newly-found
powers for vengeance? The timeless myth of the Sorcerer's Apprentice
unfolds against the backdrop of the Magic Castle and the
"Hollywoodland" sign. [3-page sample]
[chapter of novella
adaptation]
Eleven Thousand
Virgins [91-page screenplay; 1996 Writers Network semifinalist]:
This feature has been described as "Field of Dreams with
medieval chant music in place of baseball." Alex Barnett has a
comfortable life in Los Angeles and San Francisco; it's probably
too comfortable, although he can't quite admit to himself that an
extended separation from his wife Nicole eats at his soul. An
unusual set of seemingly unrelated circumstances impels him
to seek out a centuries-abandoned monastery in southwest
Germany, where he confronts the animate image of Hildegard
von Bingen, the legendary twelfth-century mystic, prophet, and
composer of ravishing liturgical chants.
Although
his friend Lars believes it's a bona-fide vision, much like the visions
that fueled Hildegard's own creativity, Alex cynically distrusts his
deepest instincts and drives himself to search for a more acceptable
answer. His quest guides him on the path toward self-awareness,
through experiences both sacred and profane. One man's inner and
outer pilgrimages take him to the depths of uncertainty, and, almost
inexorably, to the peak of actualization.
However,
lest you think this film is impossibly high-minded, rest assured that
there are generous, steamy helpings of undelayed gratification and
downright debauchery... the final blackout scene alone is guaranteed
to keep the audience riveted to their seats long enough to read the
entire credit crawl! [6-page
sample] [Hildegard
discography]
Twi§ted
P@ir [31-page virtual cyber-drama in one act, for
3 women + 3 men]: Riding fences along the
electronic frontier can breed loneliness and alienation; the
connection to everyday life is tenuous at best. This new
zone provides the backdrop for a dramatic tale, leavened
with unexpected moments of humor.
Malcolm
is just your typical hormone-addled teenager. He hates his real name,
and prefers the moniker "Zeus" whenever he's online. Delcie cruises
the chatrooms as "Bunnyfluff" because it accentuates her pubescent
teasing. But when Malcolm's lecherous grandfather accidentally
discovers their provocative virtual world, the innocence of young
flirting becomes a volatile concoction.
The
seductive lure of this uninhibited artificial territory entices
contemporary characters to spawn new personas, and validate
them against eternal truths. [2-page
sample]
Bangin'
Out That First Screenplay: A Substitute For Psychotherapy
[381-word
article at Denmark's ScreenTalk] "Whatever happened to
your first script? Are you pleased with it? Ashamed?! It's highly unlikely
that you're indifferent...."
Homestead
Your Own Patch Of Screenwriting Cyber-Turf!
[934-word
article at ScreenTalk] "You thought you needed to be a
technoweenie in order to set up a website, din'tcha? Well, that's all
changed, buckeroo. If you've ever hankered to establish a world
headquarters in cyberspace, it's never been
easier...."