Hillary Rodham Clinton
is the sexiest woman alive:

• Intelligence = Sexy. By this measure, Hillary may be the sexiest woman who EVER lived. After all, anybody who can turn a $5K investment into $100K is no chump.

• Power = Sexy. Hillary wields her influence in a graceful, controlled way. But she knows she wasn't elected, and she recognizes the limits of her dominion.

• Fame = Sexy. There's a life-sized Hillary cardboard cutout that I've got my eye on. As soon as they come out with the leather dominatrix dress-up accessories, I'm buyin' that sucker.

• Looks = Sexy. Hey, she ain't chopped liver... and when she juts out her chin in that smoldering expression of defiance, doesn't it make you MOIST?!

Let's face it -- Hillary's my dream girl.

If she ever decides to get even with Bubba,
and have an affair of her own,
I've got my fingers crossed that she'll pick me...